You’ve probably already read these jokes in an article written by Abbie Waters 13 Infertility Jokes to Make You Not Want to Punch Someone in the Face (link to the full original is pasted below) but I’ve decided to try my hand at adding the “he said” version of them.
Thanks for the infertility advice! I feel better now knowing it’s God’s will for me to have
an inadequate army of lazy swimming, deformed, triple and pin headed sperm
that require a doctor to weed out the freak show in my pants so we have a shot
at having a humanoid baby.
Oh, you just look at your wife and she gets pregnant?
I just told you we’re having trouble having a baby and you tell me that?
Why don’t you just kick me in the nuts too!
I apologize for the shit I said while my wife was on clomid.
On my honor, I will try not to de-ball the next insensitive macho jack ass who asks me
“What’s the matter–you shootin’ blanks?”
Thanks for offering “to get the job done for me if I can’t get my wife pregnant.”
I don’t know why I didn’t suggest that to our reproductive endocrinologist sooner.
Nope. Still not pregnant.
But thanks for sharing how you just “knocked up your old lady” again.